Wings of Heart

Hey guys! This is my first post here, so I hope you guys don't find my thoughts and views boring. LOL I hope you guys find the time (and patience) to read this. This is a different story. This is MY story.

Well, I woke up with the sounds of our neighbors' voices in our sala. Believe me, they were noisy. An alarm clock couldn't wake me up. Just imagine how loud their voices were. Anyway, maybe I have to be grateful to them a bit. Its been a long time since I woke up early. LOL

After the rude awakening, I helped in the household chores, which doesn't happen very often. I admit to all of my readers, I am lazy. Please don't follow my example. LOL I have to admit, I enjoyed it. Maybe I should do it more often.

After that, we ate lunch. I found two large pimples on my nose, and my mom told me that was because I ate too much food with oil, so I resolved to never eat fried food again (although I ate two jumbo hotdogs after that). I only ate kang kong, and I guess that wasn't enough, because I started feeling sick.

You know what happens next. I had a head ache and a stomach ache. But that didn't stop me from coming online and surfing the net.

We went to church soon after that. I was so sleepy. The sermon went inside one ear and came out from the other. I was concentrating too much on staying awake. My eyes were drooping. I kept leaning on the little kid beside me. LOL

Well, here I am now, with a fever but still in front of the computer. I can't help it.

I know I should be writing about my series in this diary. SO here it goes:

I made many new friends here in webs. I'm really glad that I joined. To all my friends here in webs: Love ya!

Someone reviewed this novel in a Shelfari group discussion. I posted it in the forums. It was the best review I've ever read. It was awesome! It helped me big-time!

(To those who are unfamiliar with Shelfari, its an online book club. It's great! YOu guys should join!)

Well, I have to go. I'm gonna revise the last few chapters. I know it won't be much help, but there's no harm in trying right?

Till my next entry!

-Stax141516

BOYS.
Okay, the following texts may sound a little bit biased, but please be informed that I only live with my mother, so I am not around guys much. Hardly at all. I avoid guys as much as I can help it at school. So to the boys that may read this, do not be offended. This is from a girl that was brought up to hate (most of the) boys, but you have to admit, whatever you will read is somewhat true in a point.

You may be wondering where is this leading. We'll get to that soon enough. But first let me tell you where I found the idea to write this. I don't know too much about guys, since I don't know many of them myself, but I believe I've seen many of them to know their true nature. To those guys, I suggest do not go further beyond this point.

A few hours ago, I watched the news about Doc Hayden Kho and Katrina Halili. To those Filipinos, they already know what this is about, 'coz apparently this is the hottest gossip in the Philippines. But to those not, I'll explain further. There was this video of the two of them spreading fast in the internet. I believe I don't have to tell you what kind of video this is. Anyway, the girl said that this was not her idea, which means that the cam is hidden.

That was the most stupid and perverted thing I have ever heard. He has no respect to Katrina even as a human being. He just stepped on her dignity big time. I think I'm gonna explode with rage. And what is he gonna get from doing those? I can't see the point.

I'm not saying that all boys are like this. I'm telling you, I have no intention of being an old maid. No thank you. So there better be decent guys out there. If you think you're decent enough, then please don't hesitate to contact me. LOL Just kidding.

I know that I will never have the boy of my dreams, he's too good to be true. I only want a guy who I can be proud of, and who will protect me from anything that may cause me harm. This should be easy enough, but its easier said than done.

If I'll find someone as handsome and as perverted as Doc Hayden, then never mind. I'd rather die an old maid.

I know some decent guys, or maybe I just don't know them enough. I'm not telling guys at school are not decent, its just that they're more like boys than guys. They're too childish and immature. Lets just hope they grow up to become gentlemen.

Some guys I like:

Mr. Darcy
Edward Cullen
Harry Potter
and many other fictitious characters. LOL

Well, what can I say? Can't live with them, can't live without them!

DEATH.
Are you afraid of this word? What do you feel when you hear this word? Scared? Angry? Sad?

The word had a whole different meaning to me just this morning.

I've known a lot of people that died. A lot of my neighbors died. My classmates' family. I've never really been bothered. But it seems really different when you know the person.

Its different when the person that died is only an acquaintance. A random face on the street. But when you knew the person, it seems like its only a nightmare. Its very hard to accept the fact that you will never see that person again. Never hear his voice, never see his smile. It seems so sad when you think about it.

And it is sad. You know the person. You saw him once full of life. Of dreams. Of hopes and aspirations. Its almost impossible to imagine that person lying in a coffin, lifeless. Its just heartbreaking.

I now regret the times when I didn't talk to him. I never told him I cared for him. I never even told him how thankful I am.

It would have been easier to accept if he has an illness or something. It gives you time to prepare. You see him edge slowly away from life, and it makes it more bearable. But, he was killed. By his own relatives. His own flesh and blood. Those monsters deserve a slow and painful death. If I have one wish right now, that would be it. May their conscience haunt them for all eternity.

I know that I sound more angry than sad, and I am. The Hell I am angry! To those . . . things. I wouldn't disgrace the name of devils by calling them that. Devils are still partly humans. I don't see any humanity left in them.

To those this person left behind, never forget this person. Cherish his memories in your hearts. This is what keeps them alive. Be thankful that you happen to be a part of his short but meaningful life.

Be always thankful to God for giving you a chance to be with this person.

Even though I am not a very outspoken girl, I never told you what I always wanted to say. Thank You. For Everything.

May you rest in peace.

FATE.
What comes into your mind when you hear this word? The horoscope readings? One in a million chances but somehow you get it? Meeting someone in the road that will change your lives forever?

I've always believed in things like this. I don't know. Maybe because, somehow, it makes you more confident about the future. Or maybe because I'm just curious. But I've always been fascinated on how I'll know my fate.

I've trued various methods. Numerology, Astrology, Tarot Cards, I-Ching, Yes or No Oracles, Runes, I've done them. Google can be very useful (right.). But, somehow, it made me more anxious. I'm even terrified of the thought that I'll grow older than fourteen.

For example, the Yes or No Oracles. Now that was entertaining. You just ask questions answerable by yes or no (Obviously). Well, I ask random things. But these are the things that intrigued me:

Will my future husband be rich? : Yes (Thank God!)
Is he handsome? : No (What the!)
Is he ugly? : No (At least)
Will I love him? : No (Shoot!)
Will he love me? : Yes (Now that's better!)
Will he commit adultery? : Yes (Oh come on!)
Will I love someone else aside from my husband? : Yes (Major Shoot!)
Will I finish college? No (I am so dead)
Will I marry before I graduate college? : Yes (My mom is going to kill me!)
Will I get pregnant before I graduate college? : No (Then why am I even marrying?)
Will I be happy? : No (Just great.)

Those are some random things I asked. As you have noticed, I'm pretty curious about my future married life. I guess its important for a teen girl like me to know those things. Its just, I don't know, like the climax of a woman's life. Or maybe its the end. I don't know. But it seemed fairly important. I don't think I can envision myself as a wife, let alone a mother. It creeps me out.

Ever heard of the meaning of your moles? Well, I found a book about it at a bookstore. Somehow, its what worried me the most.

My mole on my left forehead means that I solve problems easily (Is that why I'm good at Math?). Also, it means that I'll suffer in the future and that divorce is very likely to happen to me (No kidding?). Some of my moles also means that I'm friendly and sociable (I have 2 friends, so that makes me friendly?). And it made me wonder.

So that's what awaits me? Suffering? Heartbreak? What a good thing to aspire after. I mean, if its just that, then what worthwhile awaits me?

Then, on second thought, the whole thing is nonsense. How could your mole determine your future? How could a site in the internet be possibly sure that I will not be happy? I mean, I make my own future. I'm the one doing it. Not some piece of crap, telling you they know everything.

I am the master of my own fate. I am the one who will determine what will happen. Believing in those things were foolish. I shouldn't have wasted my time on such things. They were nonsense. I know that when someone who believes in them might react violently when they read this, but I have to say this. People shouldn't be fooled with those things. I was once, and it might be harmful for others. They might depend on this things.

So, to everyone who will read this, You make your own future. So, start doing something to make your future bright! Never think that this things are out of your hands. They are. So, have faith in yourself!

Believe in yourself! If not, who else will?